add a self contact when another resource is connected to our account. Fixes #744 and usefull for ad-hoc commands

Do not TB when calling really_remove_contact on a deleted account due to the timeout call (simpler than
deleting timeout(s) itself). Fixes #2146.

Get real jid of the chatcontrol when we talk to specific ressource. This prevent systray icon to be stuck to
incomming message in some rare case (new message window + auto_open). Thanks beerfan for spoting this rare
case :)